i didn't have a chance to post anything yesterday - it was such a strange day. i resigned from my job and then listened to the chairman insult me while trying to convince me to change my mind. it has confirmed for me that these are not people that i want to work for.
but what it has bought to the front for me is 'what do i want to do with my life?'
on the surface this seems like a simple question but in reality this is one of the most difficult questions that i have encountered. when i was in school i wanted to pursue photography at university but my dad had other plans and put me on the 'straight and narrow' and so for the last eight years i have studied business and worked in the corporate world. then last year i went back to study visual communication and design and rediscovered how much i enjoy being creative.
the challenging thing for me has been to seperate that corporate mentality from creativity and just create art for the sake of creating rather than being financially driven.
i also have fear....fear that my work wont be as good as others, causing me to focus so strongly on making every piece amazing. it is taking the fun out of the process, making it difficult for me to see the process through and leaving my 'big plans' as just that, plans.
i found an inspiring post on emma laiho's blog, crayon, and i thought that i might include the final note here... "do the little things, one drawing, one page at a time, make it work for you, not the other way round. find your muse and catalysts, whatever works is not cheating. it's real work, but remember to have fun..."
so perhaps i have not answered the big question about what i want to do with my life but i am going to make a promise to myself to relax, enjoy the process and most of all, have fun.